I was checking out your village, looking to buy boots. Your vendor was empty. That upset me, so I did some snooping. It turns out that you had a check that was not secured, so I cleared it out for you. Thank y'all for the gift!
Hi Random person. I wish you well in your endeavors to make a name for yourself in this harsh world. Now Shammy - Can I call you Shammy? Good. Let's have an intimate discussion here. First of all, I sincerely applaud your attempt to be known as a leader among the nefarious class of humans known as thieves, but I can tell you're new at this... First of all, as a matter of principal, criminals don't outright admit to their nefarious acts. That's like a small child saying 'Hi I'm here, please notice me!' Also, you need to work on your presentation, If you're going to announce a grand crime spree, do it with more grandeur. I'd invite you to take lessons from actual thieves, but I fear you may suffer from the pervasive 'OMGIMLEETITUS" plague wherein you actually believe you have talent. Second, we thank you for your admission of guilt. The money you 'claim' to have stolen was most likely the yearly salary afforded to the villagers for their hard work crafting such elegant boots. I want you to know that we hear your desperate plea for attention, however, our council of justices require evidence to substantiate guilt. Therefore, if you would like to be awarded with the negative attention of a bounty on your head, we invite you to provide photographic evidence of your deplorable human behavior. (pics or it didn't happen) Now I don't know if I've already taxed your extremely short attention span, but if you are still reading, I do have a thirdly and a fourthly. Thirdly, in case you are still suffering from the flawed conviction that you somehow achieved some grand feat by stealing from poor villagers, I invite you to wander around Paws and notice how ALL the doors are unlocked. If you did indeed find the check that you claim to have stolen, I fear what you actually found was, as you stated, a gift that I leave out for wanderers like yourself. Because that's the kind of village we are. So I am sorry to inform you, but you didn't actually steal anything Fourthly, and I sincerely applaud you if you have managed to read this far, I know it must have been extremely challenging for you to acknowledge and be exposed to the truth. I invite you to view this picture of a cute kitten. As I read your feeble attempt to attempt to ride our wave to fame, all I could think of were pictures and the fearsome Shammy "the pussycat" Thief! In closing, I actually mean to thank you sincerely. You may reply to my epic quips as you please, but there shall be no redemption for you and you have given me a reason to shamelessly plug one of my favorite posts: What's done is done. Next time, please consider posting your epic tale under the appropriate forum, The Salty Dog Tavern. - Regards, Jupiter Greystone
Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry though, I feel we have a misunderstanding. I misspelled "chest" and typed "check". What I was getting at was: I want a pair or your swamp boots. I have 200 spined? (green) leather in my possession from your chest. I am willing to exchange the leather for a pair of your notorious boots.
Haha a misunderstanding indeed! Amazing the world of difference can come from a chest or checks! Now, a barter thief! Well, now that I know there's room for negotiations, let the negotiating begin! You say you'll return the spined hides in return for a pair of sturdy swamp boots? I think we can work out a deal!
