Guideception - Gideon's Guide to Writing Guides

Discussion in 'Guides' started by Gideon Jura, Aug 7, 2014.

  1. Gideon Jura

    Gideon Jura Well-Known Member
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    This preview is not intended for all audiences.

    Viewer discretion is advised.



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    Fall 2014 brings you the ultimate in online entertainment.

    A Makin' it Rain (tm) Production

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    Prepare yourselves for...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

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    Last edited: Dec 14, 2016
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  2. Gideon Jura

    Gideon Jura Well-Known Member
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    Guideception


    The villain could still be seen through the trees ahead hugging the edge of one of my training facilities.

    Damnit! - how could I have been so stupid as to leave my tamer and dragons next to the wall afk?!

    Poor beasts were slain – and both were nearly GM Magery and Resist!!

    Double damnit! – why had I not bonded the stupid things yet?

    Hmmm.. Interesting.. it appears the villain has gone afk for some reason. Strange..

    In Jux Hur Ylem
    Blood pressure up 160 points and heart rate suddenly surging, I had double clicked the icon without hesitation.

    Screw it – I might only have 55 Magery on this tailor but that PK isn’t going to get the best of me and get away with it!

    The paralysis breaks, sending my character hurtling full speed towards the sleepy bastard.

    A grin creeps across my face as I imagine his lifeless corpse getting the rough side of my print screen button.

    Suddenly he begins sprinting towards me and buttcheeks clench furiously.

    “*(#@ - HE’S NOT AFK!”
    In a clumsy and ill-fated move, I click frantically somewhere between myself and the red named foe.

    “*(&$!!!”
    The damned thing has a mind of its own and glows red hot as I’m suddenly being pursued by not one – but two enemies!

    The race is on.

    Furiously dodging trees and brambles - wishing some damned lumberjack had been around earlier to turn the bastards into stumps – I’m heading for town on the double with death just a half screen behind.

    Safety is quickly approaching and the hold I have on my bag of BODs is just about as tight as the hold my sphincter has on.. err.. maybe that’s something that shouldn’t be discussed.

    With the last bit of stamina I have remaining, I propel myself closer to safety but suddenly I feel it –

    “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! - DAMN YOU PORKCHOP SANDWIIII –

    You are frozen and cannot move.
    In a strange instant, worlds collide and shatter.

    I’m in Sosaria, and yet, I’m leaping out of bed with what appears to be ninja reflexes – startling both wife and small animals with no regard for human life or sleeping children.

    A quick pat down and unclunching reveals the shameful, yet very relieving truth –

    “A dream! My BODs are safe!”
    Wow.

    I’m a goddamn nerd.

    .

    At this point you might be asking yourself some serious questions, like:

    “What the hell am I reading?”

    Or

    “What the *&#( is Gideon smoking?”

    While I’m not 100% sure what it is, I can assure you that it IS the bomb – and while I may deal in many wares, unfortunately for you, this shit ain’t for sale.

    You see, what I’m puffin on right now is inspiration.

    And like the PK squad that puts you down quick and mercilessly strikes without warning or compassion, inspiration strikes in the same way.

    To write a good guide – nay – a Great Guide – you must seize that inspiration.

    So while the first thing I might have reached for while standing in the pitch darkness of the pre-dawn hours was my BOD bag, the second was my keyboard.

    Because in that moment of clarity – when I saw the pattern being laid before me and the meaning of the vision I had had come to life – I
    couldn't be bothered to go back to bed.

    My mission was clear and the pen was set in motion.

    In that moment – amidst a flurry of panic, confusion, and a heavy dose of shame - it came to me that my goal
    wasn't simply to write a guide about writing guides – that wasn't deep enough. This rabbit hole would extend further.

    Fasten your seatbelts because you’re about to read a guide about writing a guide about writing guides.

    Yeah maybe you need to back your ass up and read that last line again because I definitely just said that shit.

    So what the hell does that even mean?

    It means that this
    isn't a complete work – no, not yet. You see, it’s still being forged and carefully brought to life even as you read the words in front of you.

    While the dream shocked me into motion with a Hook, there is more to writing a Great Guide – much more.

    That Hook is just one of the Three Pillars to writing a Great Guide.

    Three Pillars?
    That’s right son; like a philosopher - or maybe a rapper - I've got a cup of purple drank and I’m spitting some serious wisdom right now.

    Just like how there are 3 ingredients in purple drank, there are Three Pillars to a Great Guide – Hook, Content, and Vision.

    .

    Part 2: Content

    Mmm Content – the meat and potatoes of any Great Guide.

    But don’t let that make Content sound boring!

    Nay – Content is the Seven Layer Burrito and Spicy Crunch Wrap Supreme that really satisfies and will leave a lasting contented feel. While the chips and salsa whet the appetite and get you in the mood, it’s them meat and taters that fill ya up and keep ya coming back for more.

    Content needs to be spicy, flavorful, and most importantly – calorie dense!

    But like any good chef - or poor college kid slammin out Chalupas – you gotta have a plan. Shooting from the hip might get you where you’re going – especially if you’re using the sour crème gun – but having a plan will make sure you present your customer with that fine dining experience only a Great Guide can provide.

    While not quite as delicious as some piping hot T-bell, our Content is sure to deliver if we bring it together with a good plan. To do that, I need an Objective.

    So again we arrive back at that question – "What the hell am I reading?"

    A guide about writing guides – damnit, pay attention Padawan!

    So, with that, the foundation of our Objective is clear: teach our audience how to write an effective guide.

    Well that certainly brings up a couple of good ass questions, like:

    “What makes a guide effective?”

    And perhaps:

    “What skills are needed to accomplish these things?”

    Clearly, to write a guide one must have a high understanding of the topic at hand but any run of the mill burrito whipping boy could google up some how-to or wiki.

    I’m talking about Pedagogy son. Say it with me – Ped-a-go-gy.

    Pedagogy is simply defined as the method or practice of teaching.

    You know what, though? Definitions suck.

    Pedagogy is real talk man. It’s about capturing your audience and bringing knowledge into their brain at light speed.

    Pedagogy is about getting neurons to fire!

    SO LET’S FIRE IT UP UOR! LET’S BRING A HYPE TRAIN ON THIS GUIDE!

    This guide might have a lot of excitement but it’s all text man and text is f’ing snoozefest5000.

    Let’s get some pictures up in this!

    Last edited: Jun 22, 2015
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  3. Wodan

    Wodan Well-Known Member
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    - reserved for rude flame and criticism -
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  4. Dalavar

    Dalavar Well-Known Member
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    - reserved for my vote for guide of the month based on name alone -
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  5. Gideon Jura

    Gideon Jura Well-Known Member
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    Last edited: Dec 29, 2018
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  6. Descartes

    Descartes Well-Known Member
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    Well done, hilarious!
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  7. Gideon Jura

    Gideon Jura Well-Known Member
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    Last edited: Dec 29, 2018
  8. Gideon Jura

    Gideon Jura Well-Known Member
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    Last edited: Dec 29, 2018
  9. Gideon Jura

    Gideon Jura Well-Known Member
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    Last edited: Dec 29, 2018
  10. wylwrk

    wylwrk Well-Known Member

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    tldr





































    i kid... i kid.
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