Post a tall tale of your adventures on the high seas. The story should be fishing related, fishing tournament related, boat related, etc and posted between May 17th and May 31st servertime (Central US). The tale can be funny, exciting, sad, or all 3! Including screenshots can be helpful with stories but not required. The winner will be determined by a fellow player, a staff member, and myself. Here is a tale I wrote: http://uorforum.com/threads/i-was-left.631/ May I Fish? http://uorforum.com/threads/may-i-fish.4866/
hmmm I shall be watching this particular thread with great interest. Perhaps there will be a tale worthy of committing to the village oral history.
TRANSITIONS Rod Longcast was sulking in the a Britain Tavern when suddenly an old acquittance waddled in. "Hey, Rod! Why so glum?" "Oh ya know unemployed... I was a great archer in service to Lord Voltar aiding him in blasting the evil champions, but since they mutated into tougher adversaries he's given up that fight and let me and the other archer go." "Well now, have you heard what Zyler is saying?" "Zyler, he's an oddity that one, people say strange things about him." "Well he is spearheading mass-fishing to support Lord Blackthorne's efforts, you should do that!" "The hell do I know of fishing, I am a Grandmaster archer aye, renowned around Brittania, but never been to sea, only the depths of dungeons and distant jungles." "Ummm... You realize your name is Rod Longcast?" "So?" "I think it's safe to say you were born to fish, Rod. So stop yer nostalgic whining, learn the trade and have at it, yer a smart guy" Rod Longcast sighed heavily, quaffed his ale and with the stalwart determination of a desperate yet unbroken man he grabbed the brand new fishing pole held by his ol' acquaintance who will now need to furnish himself another one. "Hey, Rod, that is my Rod!" he snickered "You had best get a new Rod!" *snicker, snicker* "Aye, I don't like you anyway, I'll find a new buddy named Rod" Just for that horrid attempt at a pun, Rod also snatched the floppy hat right off the man's head. "Hey, I need that to protect my bald spot from the sun-rays..." But Rod was already out the door, his strides were long. Rod Longcast proceeded to the nearby Dock and began casting away. In no time at all Rod was feeling quite proficient so he bought himself a boat with the last of Barracoon slaying savings and went off in search of serpents while packing a trust cross bow. On the high seas, Rod found fishing to be boring and tedious, that is until while reeling the umpteenth fish and monstrous sea serpent reared up right behind the tuna. Luckily, Rod was an agile veteran of battle and quick as lightning he dropped the fishing gear, reached for his trusty crossbow and began peppering with sea serpent with some speed. With his excellent aim it was not long before the sea serpent gurgled and split open leaving behind some gold he has swallowed and a flimsy low quality map some very, very, very poor adventurer had left behind and drew with very little skill, a plain map. "Hrmph! That was fun, I haven't slain a fiend in far to long, and I'm now able to catch a fish with nearly every cast. Perhaps I can be of use to Lord Blackthorne's famine alleviation program after all." Newly determined and covered in fish guts, Rod Longcast determined to continue fishing until he keels over, but hopefully only after catching many massive fish and attaining fame and wealth as he felt fully entitled to receive. "Yes, I'll catch the biggest fish of all, and they will all love me again and know me. I will not toil in the shadow of the great Lord Voltar but make a name for myself in my own right, they shall fete me and celebrate me and Blackthorne himself will reward me!" Rod kept fishing and talking to himself, his saga is far from over.
StoryFu with KungFu time: And there I was: a ghost standing on the deck of his ship. Or what used to be his ship. I started to think about how I got here. Days earlier I was sitting in The Glowing Pitcher drinking away my sorrows. My wife had kicked me out for not bringing home enough money to keep her happy. I try to keep her looking beautiful and I bring her the prettiest sea shells that I find while out on the open sea, but there was no pleasing her. "Who do you think will win Lord British's grand fishing tournament this year?" A man asked of me. "Beg your pardon?" I replied, a bit confused on why this man decided to start talking with me. "The annual fishing tournament, you dope. The prizes this year I've heard will be unimaginable. There's even tale of there being a one million gold main prize." A million gold? I was shocked. My imagination went wild. What a boat I could have with that kind of money. "When you sit there with your mouth open like that you look pretty stupid, mate." Said the man. "I..I..uh I need to be somewhere." I stammered as I ran towards the door. I got onto my old, beaten down ship 'The Marooned Drunkard' and set sail for the open ocean. "Come on baby, it's time to win my wife back." I had dreams of big fish and my wife's warm embrace. But with that days passed. The oceans were not kind to me. The waves were large and the fish were small. I was desperate. I have to win, I NEED to win. But there was a pressing issue: I had run out of bait. "Curse you!" I shouted and in a fit of rage I took off my boots and threw them into the ocean. "Good work, dummy" I murmured to myself. I casted my empty hook towards one of my boots in attempt to fish them back in. "At least I'll catch something" I chuckled to myself. As I reeled my boot in I saw something in the water. "Just a mirage, you're going crazy." And then it happened. My boot plunged into the depths. My reel was loosing line at an astounding pace. I pulled my rod back and saw as it broke in half. I was in too much shock to do anything about it, I just kept reeling in. I was being pulled back and forth on my boat, hands bleeding from trying to hold my fishing pole. And then I saw her. The biggest fish I had ever laid eyes upon. Big and blue with an old boot in her mouth. "Come on baby, come to daddy" I yelled. She jumped again and I pulled on my rod with all my might. The gargantuan fish flied towards me and before I had time to duck she slammed me right in the face. Everything went dark. I awoke some time later. My hands were bound to the mast of my ship and a strange man stood before me. "So he is alive" the man chuckled. "My...my fish.." I stammered. "Your fish? Oh you mean my lunch! A hundred and ten stones she was. I enjoyed it with some toast. Had a lot left over but I just threw it overboard." No, I thought. "My fish..." I stammered again. "We already covered that. I had a fantastic lunch. But you should be more worried about this boat." My boat, I thought. What about my boat? "What do you mean?" "Well, you see, I'm what some would call a pirate. You know about pirates, don't you lad? You see, I'm going to take this boat from you and sell it for firewood." "Can you please take me back to land. My wife..." I pleaded. "Of course. Let me cut these bonds for you, you seem to be most uncomfortable sitting there." He pulled a dagger from his boot and walked to the other side of the mast. I felt his hand grab onto my should and hold me while he started to cut the ropes. "Oh, silly me. I forgot something." He said, with a certain glee in his voice. "What's that?" I asked. "I don't take prisoners." The steel felt cold on my throat. My blood felt warm on my chest. I tried to scream, but nothing would come out. I looked out into the ocean as my eyes began to close. This was it, I thought. This was it. Or so I thought. My eyes opened again to see my lifeless body lying on my boat. The man started to whistle while I took my meager possessions. He cut my body loose and tossed it overboard. To Be Continued.
The fisherman's boat was a miracle upon itself. How this thing stayed afloat was beyond my comprehension. "Poor guy, I almost feel bad for taking this ship. Almost.." I chuckled to myself. I spent most of the day tying my ship to this fishing boat. I needed to make sure the knots were true as there was no sense throwing that man's life away just to leave his excuse of a ship floating aimlessly in the sea. "I should be able to afford one of Lady Nightingale's best ladies once I sell this thing off." The seas were strangely calm this evening. Maybe the winds will come back tomorrow; tonight I'll enjoy some of this poor sods wine and even some of his catch. I whistled a tune while I cut another fish steak and took another swig wine. My skin began to feel cold. Like ice against exposed skin. "Who goes there?" I asked nobody in particular. The coldness left. How strange, I thought. "This wine is better than I thought." I murmured to myself. "OOoooOOooooOo" I heard. It was faint and sounded as if it were right next to my ear and a million leagues away at the same time. "Who goes there? Show yourself!" I yelled into the night. Coldness pulsed through my body. What was happening? How drunk am I? "Begone! Get away!" I swung a torch back and forth. And then it hit me. "Fisherman, have you come to haunt me?" I asked to the open seas. I stood waiting for an eternity for anything. I don't know what I was hoping to hear. "I think it's time to sleep." I said to myself. I lied down on the hull of my ship and shut my eyes. "Tomorrow will be a better day." TO BE CONTINUED
On choppy and unforgiving waters for several weeks already, the brave fisherman Eremor battles far more than ancient creatures from the depths. As morning sunlight breaks in between the deck boards, small scuttling sounds can be heard beneath the top deck- a hearty breakfast of disease free fish steaks is being hastily prepared. Groggy from a night of productive fishing (nocturnal species are a delicacy), a sleepy eyed fisher and his trusty companion approach the steps that will take them top side with a passive indifference. Surveying the sky after the eyes adjust to the light, a foreboding scene manifests. Dark and menacing clouds are seen in the distance, rolling in across the entire horizon- a front is staking its claim over the land. Like a disinterested peruser at the markets, the storm is taking its time, but the intrepid fisherman knows just what's in store for the next several days at the least. Snow, biting cold, and fish descending further into the sea. "This far south?" he ponders, as if the Vas Flam beetle wasn't causing enough damage already. Grabbing the deep sea fishing pole, with extra long line, the days work can begin. "Ah well," he begrudgingly concludes, "the only thing that matters now is bringing home enough fish for the desperate families." The first cast of the day brings up a small yet still formidable serpent that requires the well-honed axe of Sauryn to dispatch. A small glass bottle rolls from the mouth of the beast onto the deck, making tink sounds as it careens over the various ropes and leathers laid out over the surface. Inside, a small note requesting assistance is found, leagues away. Eremor lets out a small sigh, "Sorry friend, you'll have to wait- it's fishing time." Later on in the day, small flakes descend from the heavens as the cold front has blanketed the entire sky. The methodic sound of line being cast time and again creates a soothing comfort, while the fish piling up in barrels exudes the proficiency of the craftsman. Where there are fish near old Eremor, they'll be in a barrel soon enough, salted and safe for consumption. As the grey, looming overcast day begins to dim, as if the sun sneaks away ashamed it was not able to best the wispy clouds, small bubbles start to emerge from the water on the starboard side of the SS Hot Cross Buns. Serpents are known to produce gas, and have some degree of control on when to expel it. This is, of course, how they are able to spout fire at foes when threatened. However, if not provoked for some time, the buildup of gas causes two things. The first, and most visible effect, are the bubbles on the surface with an unforgettable stench shortly therafter. The second, and not commonly known effect, is an increase in buoyancy for the creature. This can be good or bad, depending on the goals of the fisherman. For the particular set of skills present on the craft, this was a very good thing. As Eremor had shown in the past, serpents are the largest consumer of gigantic fish, which happen to be the ultimate prize on the quest to feed the world. With several quick casts, a massive sea serpent bellows out of the water, intent on expelling some more gas in a particular direction. Making sounds one would usually use to call a cat or other small furry mammal, while rubbing two fingers together, Sauryn knew just how to coax the serpent close enough for his axe to become most effective as a neck removal device/large fish retrieval agent. The battle was over with only a single bite in his non-dominant arm, and a quick application of bandage made sure that the next serpent would have a more difficult time in penetrating that particular spot. Sauryn was quite adept at several things, most importantly dispatching undesirables and keeping to himself. Before kicking the carcass overboard, a thorough check of cavities was performed to ensure that maximum profit was occurring for their business venture. For some strange reason, and this has been happening more as of late, a woven basket was found lodged near one of its lymph nodes, a smattering of gold pieces contained within. The basket seemed worth more than the few gold pieces, yet was essentially growing as a part of the serpent, making its extraction rather impossible. With such a distraction on the mind, Sauryn almost missed some prized pieces of loot, if only because of their size- two massive fish, side by side, weighing 46 and 51 stones! Surely the fish inspectors will be excited at such a haul from the deep, Eremor considered as the SS Hot Cross Buns pushed towards home in earnest. Hopefully the fine citizenry can rest well knowing that there are certain individuals trying their hardest to keep Britannia's bellies full and the serpents at bay. cross post from original May I Fish thread!
So far, only three stories entered for this 100k feat of the "May I Fish?" event!!! MOAR STORIES! You fishermen are sitting there out at sea all day, surely you can at least make up a tall tale! Also, if you post more than one story under the same forum name, it will be considered as 'one submission' unless you specifically request that your stories be considered separately. For example, Kungfu_Ninja's two stories will be evaluated as one story.
