officer's patrol log

Discussion in 'The Salty Dog Tavern' started by Jupiter, Jun 30, 2015.

  1. Jupiter

    Jupiter Well-Known Member

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    the patrol log of Victor Magnus
    The streets of Ocllo have become shady indeed in my absence. During my patrol I immediately noticed the profile of one Laurenceo Higgenbottoms (aka the Lollypop) with his well known cohort Beltrain Bumblecrums (aka Bumboozled). They were making easy work of the citizens bags, so I engaged immediately. Seeing there were eye witnesses to their crimes I decided to forego the standard warnings and proceeded to arrest them. Lollypop fled the scene immediately while Bumboozled remained more brazen and withstood my efforts to incapacitate. He must have recognized that I was a bit rusty and that my war ax was not a standard issue officer's weapon. He quickly disarmed me and relieved me of any sustained chance of success in apprehending either suspect.

    I headed immediately to the court of justice in Yew to report my officer's weapon missing and my request to procure a new weapon was met only with laughter from the petty officer on duty. "You think the majesty's court has that kind of gold? Go procure your own stick! "

    A bit dismayed I headed into the markets of Yew in search of any weapon to assist me in detaining felons in flight. I decided to stop by one of my informants at the 5D black market. There I acquired the head of one of the most notorious felons, Dimas. I passed my informant some fool's gold in exchange for the head. By studying this hideous Visage I will no doubt be able to spot the felon more easily.

    I then returned to the Yew market where I came upon a startling bit of information. Apparently the captain of the guard had issued a mandate for all officers trained with blunt weaponry to replace all their current arsenals with standard maces. Apparently there was a mix up at the epicenter of the universe causing all maces to weigh exactly 14 stones thus making them too heavy for a thief to steal.

    A hard lesson learned after losing the Vanquishing war mace that the deceased officer Osgood had given to me upon his death.

    Signed,

    Officer Magnus.
    Ps. I am still anxiously awaiting the last 6 months of stipends for my service. I don't mean to complain, but any thing would be welcome.
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2019
  2. ReZon

    ReZon Well-Known Member
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    A stipend in the form of a golden mace has arrived at my tower for you Officer Magnus. I have it set aside for you until our paths next cross.

    (Your tales have been missed @Jupiter!)
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  3. Jupiter

    Jupiter Well-Known Member

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    Patrol Log
    The town of Occlo is still troubled by thieves. I issued several warrants for arrest, but I was not able to apprehend the fellow masquerading as Santa Claus, but I did manage to chase him out of town.
    My patrol however took a more perilous turn when I crossed paths with Roric Garamond. He was a bold font of a man. Although he himself did not present a threat to my person, he was a man with no small appetite for adventure- and he knew just where to find it.

    I surrendered my watch to the town guards and ventured with Roric to investigate rumors of dark magic in the southern woods. We were able to prevail upon two eager squires, Rosie and Sutherland, to keep watch of our steeds while we sought to sneak inside the mages' tower.

    We easily subdued the acolytes standing guard and put on a clever disguise. I assured Roric this ruse had worked a hundred times. Albeit I failed to mention that the disguises rarely fool the more astute enemies.

    The disguises got us as far as the guard room. I decided that stealth was no longer our best course of action to make it past the guards. I pulled a purple jar from my sack and motioned to Roric to be ready at the count of three. I shook the bottle quick and hard and tossed it perfectly at the blade maiden's feet. She barely had time to comprehend the pain that would explode between her legs. As the other guards rushed to the commotion Roric and I darted past.

    Had we known towards what we were headed, I think we may have opted to fight off ten bandit guards rather than the dreadful visage of Xanthe the Dark Lord and his pet Be'elzebub....
  4. [Mobolin]

    [Mobolin] Active Member

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    heh....heh....heh....
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  5. BlackEye

    BlackEye Well-Known Member
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    Yippie, +500 gold on my bank account. :eek:
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