Robber's Roost Gang KOS DeadBeat Execution Listing (Drunk Monkey - aka Lightshade??)

Discussion in 'The Salty Dog Tavern' started by Curly Sue, Apr 20, 2015.

  1. Curly Sue

    Curly Sue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2014
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    551
    As promised RRG shall provide all further KOS executions in an organized single posting.

    It is with great honor and pleasure to begin this listing with none other than Knight Ducky, Chief of Security, Master of DeadBeats and his witch Momma Mia. Knight Ducky was spotted on RRG lands (Yew) this afternoon interfering with RRG patrols. He fled for Britain controlled territory but was caught about 300 yards from the town border and executed for promoting false hope and a will to evade RRG taxes.

    [​IMG]

    All items were removed from his possession, his head readied for transport to the tax collection outpost, and the remainder cooked to a crisp. After Hussybear snaps through him like a salmon, KOS can expect a free delivery of Duck Soup... BTW, the witch was left to rot in a shallow grave...

    [​IMG]

    RRG advises KOS to end this nightmare and pay their taxes of 30,000 GP weekly.

    Lightshade, the leader of this revolt, is wanted for criminal negligence for allowing the genocide of his people.
    eherruh, Theodin, pinky_ and 5 others like this.
  2. El Horno

    El Horno Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2014
    Messages:
    2,385
    Likes Received:
    2,460
    So all you are asking KOS is a mere 30k for the safety of the ENTIRE guild?!
  3. Curly Sue

    Curly Sue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2014
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    551
    Indeed.... Weekly of course for use of our land. And let us be clear that we offer no protection. We offer an end to the ongoing inquisition. KOS loses more in the losses they are taking weekly from this revolt. RRG wishes to be able to support mounting god given rights but cannot do so with a revolt in their lands. RRG asks lightshade to see reason. We will also remove the heads of your fallen guildmates from the tax collection outpost while taxes are paid.
  4. El Horno

    El Horno Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2014
    Messages:
    2,385
    Likes Received:
    2,460
    Seems like a reasonable sum. Perhaps pride is entering the picture and preventing leaders from protecting its citizens.
  5. Ducky

    Ducky Well-Known Member
    UO:R Donor

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2015
    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    323
    KoS would not pay a single coin to vile criminals efforts to extort gold from honest citizens of KoS and others in the lands of Sosaria.

    I may have been severely wounded today by the illegal mob action of the vile murderers of the Rubber Rockstar Game, but my wounds will heal and i will never stop in my attempts to bring these foul creatures to justice.

    For the honest people of these lands
    Justice shall Prevail
    eherruh, RiffRaff-, Theodin and 6 others like this.
  6. El Horno

    El Horno Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2014
    Messages:
    2,385
    Likes Received:
    2,460
    So not pride, but PRINCIPLE!
    eherruh, TheDarkOne, Theodin and 2 others like this.
  7. Lightshade

    Lightshade Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2013
    Messages:
    1,329
    Likes Received:
    1,739
    It seems that these criminals are still harassing lone travelers of the realm. I recommend traveling in groups, Sosarians, as that seems to deter them.
  8. Kane

    Kane Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    1,044
    Why do I never see these guys? I could use some new verite spears
  9. Lightshade

    Lightshade Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2013
    Messages:
    1,329
    Likes Received:
    1,739
    They are "selective" in who they attack.
    TheDarkOne, Soulsease and Blazephyre like this.
  10. Kane

    Kane Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    1,044
    Sounds like a nice way to say they're chicken
  11. BlackEye

    BlackEye Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    3,628
    I don't know. Attacking 'Knight Ducky, Chief of Security, Master of DeadBeats' sounds very brave.
    Faber and Vlar like this.
  12. Curly Sue

    Curly Sue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2014
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    551
    The difference between bravery and stupidity in this land is determined only by the outcome. Where we hail from, dead men have no opinion in the matter.

    Pay your taxes or find your opinion lost...
    eherruh, Theodin and BlackEye like this.
  13. Kane

    Kane Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    1,044
    I dare you to make me
    Beethoven and Xegugg like this.
  14. Curly Sue

    Curly Sue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2014
    Messages:
    355
    Likes Received:
    551
    It is our pleasure to report that Radical Larry, Cousin of Moo, Knight of Sosaria, Tracker bastard was hereby audited this afternoon and found guilty of tax evasion and snooping around RRG lands. As you may know, the penalty for tax evasion under RRG law is death upon sight and immediate forfeit of all accessible available goods during sentencing. Any party present, such as a horse, in this case his beloved "RRGsucksBALLS" is considered an accomplice and such crime is also punishable by death. The horse slain for his vile comments...

    He was seen snooping around the RRG keep and a chase ensued. Luckily, Rad Lar was speared in the back and slowed just enough to get a shot off on Curly's faithful XBow. The bolt hit square in his chest and ended his not so useful existence. . All Commercial goods were confiscated along with his head.

    [​IMG]


    Knights of Sosaria are urged to pay their taxes to the currently appointed gracious Lord Lewis at the Robber's Roost Gang Tax Collection Outpost located at the center of town in Yew, northeast of the KOS library. Failure to do so will result in the continuing audits of KOS personnel in the same manor.

    Also, KOS is urged to quit snooping where their nose doesn't belong. We understand the need to visit your fallen guildmates heads but this will not be allowed until taxes are paid.

    Brought to you by Curly Sue... Your favorite tax collection agent.
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2015
  15. BlackEye

    BlackEye Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    3,628
    L O L.
    eherruh, Vlar and Curly Sue like this.
  16. Chuck Lidell

    Chuck Lidell New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    3
    i shall avenge my fallin comrades
    pinky_ likes this.
  17. The Radical Larry

    The Radical Larry New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2013
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    23
    Radical Larry is but an upstanding southern gentleman who goes about his business. He is not a member of KoS, but is good friends with them. I believe you are mistaken on his membership in such a fine guild. Perhaps you know something that I do not? :confused:
    Blazephyre and pinky_ like this.
  18. Lightshade

    Lightshade Well-Known Member
    UO:R Subscriber

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2013
    Messages:
    1,329
    Likes Received:
    1,739
    Radical Larry, you are correct. I'm not sure what RRG is talking about in this instance. Perhaps they are trying to keep to their "excuse" for cold-blooded murder and thievery. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in which they try to justify murder of innocents. We all know that they are just murderers who kill for no good reason, though. Their act of being tax collectors is contrary to Lord British's rule.

    Guild Listing: Members
    Blazephyre and pinky_ like this.
  19. PaddyOBrien

    PaddyOBrien Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2014
    Messages:
    1,371
    Likes Received:
    1,846
    Hmmm.... so that's why I found Radical Larry's corpse laying near my shop.

    If anyone's wondering about the gruesome display upon my fine house of wares, those are the remains of the foul murderer and recently guardwhacked Roxxer McOwnage who met his fate on the streets of Occlo..:cool:

    **EDITED FOR SHAMELESS PLUG****
    Roving bands of pk's left you stranded? Forgot to bring extra instruments? Low on regs? Be sure to stop by The Cornered Market, located near the Ice Dungeon entrance, for all of your restocking needs!
    One and pinky_ like this.
  20. pinky_

    pinky_ Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2015
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    104
    These murderers don't know who they are messing with. That tiny devious looking butt kicker could climbs up your rear end, come out through the mouth and spits out your $hit faster than you could pull off a mini heal.

Share This Page