Smells of Autumn

Discussion in 'The Salty Dog Tavern' started by Quenby, Dec 5, 2016.

  1. Quenby

    Quenby Active Member

    Nov 20, 2016
    Likes Received:
    I awoke this morning to what had to be the worst smell I have ever been privy to. The horrible stench was so thick on the air, so rank, that not even breathing solely out of my mouth helped escape the noxious miasma that was mysteriously in my small room. Had I drank too much ale at Paddy's Pub last night and made the mistake of eating the stew again? I glanced over at my chamber pot to see if it was the culprit. No, Dun Scaith has been very good about keeping it emptied. No, this smell was far worse then a forgotten chamber pot.

    My first instinct was to recall away immediately... but no, that wouldn't do. Whatever is causing the smell is only going to get worse if I don't clean it up. I stumbled towards the door and fumbled with the keys, trying to breath as little as possible until I could get outside of my house and into the fresh air. I could actually taste the smell now.
    I got the door open and ran outside, took a deep breath and realized that somehow the smell was actually worse out here. Curses. I glanced around and notice a prominent trail of blood and steaming black ichor leading right next door to Hypatia the Healer's Cabin. Some neighborhood. I grabbed a piece of cloth, folded it over itself a few times and placed it over my mouth. With the cloth feebly attempting to filter out the smell and taste from the air, I walked over to Hypatia's and with my foot hesitantly kicked open the door. Holy shit.
    The healer's hut was completely unrecognizable. A mixture of blood, black ichor, and stool was splatted in great gobs over nearly every surface. I nearly fell I backed up so quickly. Determined to rid the vicinity of the smell I went back to my house and grabbed inside my drawer for my brushes and a tub to fill with water. All that was in the drawer was a note from Jupiter...

    ALL of my brushes? He couldn't have left a single one?

    Soooo, I did what any man would do, I went to the Crow's Nest Tavern and drank some ale. I had only drank 2 bottles of ale when lo and behold, Jupiter strides in with his posse of adventurers, singing loudly about his success in vanquishing Baerron Jael. The wizard, clearly feeling the effects of the ale, continued to sing about his single handed victory of Baerron Jael, but made no mention of my brushes. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of missed notes, Jupiter finished his song and went outside to relieve himself in the flower box out front. I approached and asked him where all my brushes were. Jupiter finished shaking off on the poppies and turned to me and said, "Sadly, all the brushes but one were destroyed in the cleaning process."
    I replied, "All right, well, that sucks. Please don't borrow my stuff any more. And, erm, can I have my brush back? Didn't you said one wasn't destroyed?"
    Jupiter said, "Aye Quenby, it is in Vesper, good luck, and sorry again about the rest of the brushes", and began to chuckle.
    I didn't get the joke and left at once to Vesper to get at least one of my brushes back so I could begin to clean up the black ichor, blood, and stool that was globbed all over the vicinity of my house.
    There, in the basement of the Vesper Museum, sitting in a display case, lay my brush. I tried to lift the brush up and put it in my backpack but there was powerful magic keeping it firmly in the display case. Try as I might, I could not get my brush to budge.
    Now I know why Jupiter was laughing.
    Ragar, Cero, PaddyOBrien and 5 others like this.
  2. Jupiter

    Jupiter Well-Known Member

    Jul 24, 2013
    Likes Received:
    This story has been added to the oral history of Paws.


    *Jupiter makes personal note to make sure incognito is in effect before relieving himself in the poppies again*
    Cordelia Black likes this.
  3. Dun Scaith

    Dun Scaith Well-Known Member

    Oct 29, 2016
    Likes Received:
    To think that relic was almost left behind!
    Jupiter and Cordelia Black like this.

Share This Page