Hello, friends! Welcome again to another installment of the [NOA] Guide to Llamas, brought you by Number One Animal [NOA]. We are the premier llama guild on UOR, and our mission is to promote, protect, and admire Ultima Online's number one animal, the llama. Let's get started! Today's subject is not a happy one. Since the llama is the number one animal in Ultima Online, there are naturally a number of imitators. We're going to walk you through the basics of the three varieties of false llama. But before we do that, I just want to say BEWARE: A true llama is a kind and trusted friend to all of good nature. False llamas are deceivers born in the pits of hell. The Trammel Llama The Trammel llama is the most disruptive to normal gameplay of the three false llamas. It has the appearance of a transparent llama, but do not let that fool you: They are NOT llamas. Trammel llamas come from Trammel and reside in the backpacks of World of Warcraft players. Having no self-respect, Trammel llamas are happy to be ridden by WoW players. FACT: Also known as the venereal llama. The Drama Llama The drama llama is perhaps the most vile of the three false llamas. Commonly found in the woods immediately north of Minoc, drama llamas spend most of their days instigating arcane dramas in the forums of online video games. It is not recommended that you interact with the drama llama in any fashion. The drama llama gets its name solely from its propensity to bizarre drama combined with the unfortunate 'drama'/'llama' rhyme, and otherwise it has absolutely nothing in common with number one animal. FACT: You can put the drama llama on ignore. The Tiny Llama The tiny llama is the most common of the three false llamas. It is clearly not a llama. FACT: It often carries rabies.
My good friend Richard (we called him Dick for short) was a Drama Llama Denier. Now he, his wife, and his eight children are dead.
