This adventure of a lifetime starts off in the Humble small town of Skara Brae and ends only the gods know where Ohhhh wella,, A few good decades or years ago lived an old fisherman by the name of Swabby McSalts. This burley cross eyed seaman lol'' who was the elder son of Salty and Saltilia McSalts was once a deckhand for the Infamous and highly feared Dread Pirate 'Captain Chi Chi 'Chupando' de la Cruz, who down south of the border was known as El mar apestoso de sal (The salty sea stinker) translated. This name was given to him by the villagers where he grew up because as a child he didn't like to take a bath and always had this pungent stench just rolling off of him. I believe the children used to have a nickname for him as well, I think if i remember correctly it was something to the effect of "Maldición apestas vete" or (Damn you stink go away) translated. Being picked on his whole childhood because he stunk so damned much, he grew up to be a murderous sea brigand who swore to plunder all the booty across all five of the known at the time Sosarian seas. How he started this vengeful adventure was he landed a job with a commercial shipping company that exported nightshade and spidersilk, not to mention desirable maidens who were skallywagged into marrying these limited sense whatchamacallits in the far east, Oh and also tossing its captain overboard and renaming the ship after his one and only girlfriend he once had because her nose didn't work, The glorious ship was then christened 'The nagging Wench!' The reason the maidens were hard to find in the far east is that the males in this area were ugly as a mongbats poop shoot, And believed to be caused by selective breeding practices. *a tale once told of two cousins shipwrecked on an island off the coast of Magincia and their undying willingness to carry on the family name*. As time passed and this was only but to some an exaggerated story told by some drunk deckhand for spare change, so he can buy his rotgut brigandbrand whiskey rumored to be made from the saliva of dead pixies and droppings of enchanted jackalopes,,Anyway *hmmm* Ahh! The so called fabled tale after few witnesses traveled there said, For this tale told tis to be true! Those guys over east are so ugly your eyes begin to tear up like a onion dicers at a haggis mill! Now where Swabby Salts comes into play here i have no clue! Due to the fact that it took an act of Poseidon for me to get this far! Now lets see here, where was i going with this *thinks* Oh yeah! *shakes numbness from scripting hand* By the time these so called desirable maidens arrived , not to mention after what they went through on that ship *would rather not say* these said desirable maidens were more than willing to marry these uglier than a flying monkeys *or was it a mongbats? furry patoot look alikes just to get away from them no tooth havin seadog smellin barnacle bangers on that pirate ship they were enslaved within the guts of for the past 3 months. 'FIN' Thank you! This was written out of drunken stupor and desperation by Pharoah WTF productions inc. Thank you all, I hope you guys enjoy my first crack at a short adventurous story here in the Salty dogs story place of stories and stuff. No characters pets wenches or maidens were harmed in this adventurous tale of the seas! And no Pharoah wasn't inebriated either!