The Story of Destruction After finally hearing enough about how everyone wants to know more about Sneaky, and thinks Sneaky is so great all the time, I finally am gonna cave and tell MY story! You know the story of ME?!? The actual leader of Samurai Orc Klan, that everyone seems to constantly ignore because they think Sneaky is sooo interesting. Sure Sneaky is awesome, nothing I can argue with there. But PLEASE, can I just once in my life not be overshadowed by Sneaky? Is it because she is red? That is it right? Show me some new players out of town that are AFK or low on mana... I will take 5 counts right now! I'll go RED if that is what it takes to get some respect around here! I am so going to regret this later, but here goes. My name is Destruction now, but that was not always my name. The name I am truly known by is a name most of you have heard a thousand times without even realizing it. Its a name you might have used yourself to describe a bad player. Yah thats right, I am THE permanoob. No, not a permanoob, THE permanoob. Everyone has heard the stories of the supposed worst player ever in OSI history right? Every shard had a version of it, but it was all the same story. A player is so bad they are griefed more than other player in the game. Those stories are true and that bad player was me! Ya alot of people can brag about all the murder counts they have, and it is impressive. Murder counts are awesome, but who doesn't have lots of those? Tons of people have them! I know because I am the one who gave out most of them. Yep, I have given out more murder counts than everyone else on this server combined. I have counted everyone from the best PK's on the server, to the most AFK macroers that clearly had no idea they were even attacking me. I alone was responsible for some of the greatest scams and griefings ever experienced by a player. Of-course everyone has a story about cheating another player they are proud of. How many can actually say they were the player getting cheated in the story every time? Ya, just me! No one has been looted more times than I have. At one point, I just stopped even locking my door. Because of me, countless bugs were found and exploited! Remember the great wall bug of the early 90's? My small house location was the birthplace of that craze! I was the very first, AND ONLY player ever to be awarded an honorary MERCY banning. After so many pages to the GM's over the years, the entire staff agreed to force me out of ever playing again on any known server. Most people thought that was the end of my Ultima career and that I went on to play Everquest with all the other people who couldn't succeed in Ultima. The real story is that after I was awarded the only ban ever given out of pitty, My ultima career finally took off. The staff, especially Starr Long who everyone knows was the director of everything back then, demanded that I help the game's future development and bug testing department. After having been involved with almost every major bug found at the time, I was given a position helping the staff find and prevent the next big exploit of the future. It was a job I was born to do. I quickly became known as the bug magnet and the entire staff took turns testing new ways to grief me. It became kinda a tradition for everyone to gather around the conference room on Friday, to share stories of who had found the best way of making my game time miserable. Because of my work, there are dozens of bugs and exploits that you never got to hear about or experience. There is one thing that I am responsible for that you all DID hear about. Finally as my time wore on with the development team, it was decided that I should be consulted for advice on how to improve the game for players like myself. Players that could not adapt to Ultima and who were so bad that the game had to be changed in a major way to accommodate them. It was not exactly a popular decision at the time, and still isn't. Some of the staff even quit because they so passionately disagreed with the decision to listen to anything I had to say. It was an empty gesture though, because I was interviewed extensively on how the game could be improved for myself and others like me. So I can not take ALL the credit, but yes it was my idea to create Trammel! It was truly my idea to create a whole new world where people like me could go to escape what made Ultima great. It wasn't the most popular idea at the time, in fact it was actually probably the most UNPOPULAR idea ever. Some people still try to say that I single handedly am responsible for the downfall of Ultima Online. That might be giving me a little more credit than I deserve, but I sure as hell did play a key role. To this day my only regret is that Trammel was not given a few more years to succeed. Had more people just went there and not stayed in Fel, I know it could have been different. Anyway the day before the Trammel rollout the entire staff was in the conference room for a meeting. Well some brash young intern trying to make a name for themselves snuck up behind me during the part of the meeting dedicated to bragging about who had the best story of griefing me that week. Its all ancient history now, but the intern lightly tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention. When I turned around to see what he wanted, he famously screamed "PERMANOOB" directly into my face as loud as he could. Everyone in the entire place started laughing and pointing at me. From that day on, everyone called me the permanoob. That was actually how the term really got started and became a thing. Only a few short months later, anyone who was anyone was calling everyone permanoob. The intern was fired and later beat me up in the parking lot after work. So that is it mostly. Except the parts about my time playing on siege perilous 2. That was the ultra exclusive test server only used by the development team and a few select players from every shard. It wasn't any super big deal, but it made siege perilous look like playing on e-z mode. Anyway that is a story for another time. Now who is more beloved and interesting? Me or Sneaky?
I have to admit, I got what I deserved. That intern went on to have alot of success in game development. His name was Jeff Kaplan.
