Ya well, we didn't. What if we're all too embarrassed to ask for help, and here you are with all the answers.
Darn, I thought this thread was about npc vs. monster combat. I always like to see a troll kill a bard, or a wandering healer give what for to a gazer. And the way npcs call for guards. "Help! Guards! Flood, fire, famine!", or something along those lines. LOL.
Unfortunately that can never be, as apparently the patch for provo unto players (and NPC humans, like wandering healers), seems to be waaaaay back in the priorities list, and us bards are left SOL.