It had been months since the fearless brigand leader @Bayara had been seen. Was she sleeping off a bender somewhere? In a jail cell for her many crimes against Britannia and humanity in general? No one knew... but many of the brigands had their thoughts... that this was a crime.... a kidnapping perpetrated by none other than Project Sanctuary! Reeling from the cancellation of her reality show, Honey Boo Boo came to this strange land called Britannia via a moongate behind the adjacent trailer park ("a giant popcicle!", she thought) to escape Mama June and her penchant for pervy boyfriends. When she arrived in Britannia, it was Bayara who took her in. Bayara, the bucket-headed lady became her surrogate Mama June. Trained her in the fine arts of murder, introduced her to a new more powerful "go go juice" called liquor, taught her how to eat sketti with a war fork that was also good for killin', and promised to enter her into brigand beauty pageants. Honey Boo Boo finished her bowl of sketti in the Hanging Crown tavern and looked at the names etched onto the guildstone. She had gathered the remaining brigands and they swore loyalty to her, and she swore an oath that she would bring the brigands back to their former glory. For too long the roads have been safe, people milling about their camp and worst of all, Skara Brae and the suburbs inhabited by @Lord Krake 's ilk had been bustling and expanding. "Theys the ones who took Bayara, ya'll." she said to the brigands. "And I'm just as sure as that as a dolla makes me holla!" She cleared out the table of garbage and empty liquor bottles and unraveled a carefully drawn out map of the suspected area of Bayara's captivity "Never mind the sketti stain on it, but I's sure she's being held here. We're gonna do some recruitin and scouting, and terrorizing the countryside until they release her. We'll make them responsible for the carnage we'll unleash upon Britannia, child. Aint no body seen as much chaos as I'm gonna bring, ya'll. I'm a sassy, badass pageant winning bitch ya'll, and they's gonna pay for taking our leader. Now someone go an fetch me some cheeseballs, and some go go juice, because when I get all murdery I get hungry, child!" Brigands are back, ya'll better redneckognize!!'
I'm glad that they returned, I like this gang, despite the fact that they killed me many times! At last people will start to look again and will not walk around without reason in the woods and secluded places! Hey @Bayara confirm the information, your gang is on his feet again?
As far as I know, the Dark Octopus, local defenders of the Yew forest, are still at war with these... brigands. We shall begin our patrols again. Be forewarned.
Stop by the brigand camp then girlfriend, bring a pizza though and maybe some cheese balls and sketti. And go go juice. But none of that cheap stuff ya'll.
Oh dear Lord...... I am sure I could try and speak to this sweet summer child, but I dont think that would do any good. She seems set in her ways. Her fat fingered, slobbering, broken English pageant winning ways. Well @HoneyBooBoo I suppose me and my ilk will be getting prepared for your "onslaught". Trust you me, little globbet, I learned my lessons last time I was beaten up by a small child (that was a very strange colonoscopy appointment.....) and as soon as you and your gang tucker yourselves out, Project Sanctuary will have some nice cooked hams for you. If you had any desire to meet face to face to speak about your troubles, please let me know. I am sure I could find a high-chair for you. ~Krake
Can someone translate the map for me? @scuba @UrinalCake @Evil Dead This sounds like a job for the wrestlers!!!
I aint skurred of no wrasslers. I have the most powerful wrasslin move of all, the cup-a-fart! As soon as I get done pooping out my short term counts on the brigand potty, I'm gonna get all murdery on ya'll @Lord Krake and all of Skara Brae and P'S land will bow to me and mah beutimousness as the head pagaent queen of Britannia, child! Ya'll gonna pay for takin Mama Bayara!
Leonardo, the sword wielding warrior, will patrol the PS village more frequently for outlawed brigands. Be warned, mercy will not be given to brigands!
You'd wear socks in the pool too if your foot looked like sausage that has been sittin out in the sun too long ya'll! I'm glad to get away from that stanky foot, child!
