Ghosts from the past... UO:Stones (Crotchfires and Limericks now included) #Storytime.

Once' hid behind a haystack to avoid an angry mob... you may call me Haystack, if you were there of course.
Countless' number of times I stood vigilant beside the Gnome and protected the streets of Ocllo from the cities riff-raff...

Over one hundred poems were composed and sang about all manner denizens within Sosaria...
Don't even get me started on the final task of dealing with the most 'Bull' and leather - ever in shard history... (within such a small time span!)

I return to you now to offer you a gift from the past.
Decided' to become a bard, not a Sapphire one however, an Obsidian one.

Please enjoy:

I hope to find you all well soon enough.


Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

After taking a brief jaunt through the forum, I find old and new S.O.F. videos and am very pleased to laugh. Hawk Tuah, spit on that thang.

* This has me thinking I could extend a few gifts to any creator that wishes to utilize free piano music, my library is now at your disposal.
* How else could a bard - bard!?

@Evil Dead I would be honored if you (or another pvp creator) found the Traitor Host Hustle to be of any use.


A much slower take would be Meridia's Afterglow. (This is the Renaissance after all.)


There are others available for use - feel free to have a look.
I may need to learn to play a classy version of the Mortal Kombat theme now.

No mention is required for this, though if anyone uses a tune I'd love to see the product.
Thievery, Fishing, what have you... Gardening tutorials?! Afterglow + Gardening, maybe-!

- - -
(Oh-! this has just turned into a Limerick Thread... hah! Careful of thine deeds Sosarians!)
- - -

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

Have you ever been Pfniffel'd? @Jakob

Chased that jester across three towns while we both took up stacks of hirelings to block doors and fire spells at one another in the name of the law.
* Or in the name of Tom Foolery!


(That is a piece of mahogany-obsidian under the ^ stick-heron)

Only to have that Spoony Bard escape by means of teleportation onto a pre parked "get away" boat... whilst being mocked in Rainbow fashion.

The cunning!
(*After a 3-4 hour chase, I know I was Pfniffel'd!)

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

Life in Paws, should have stayed there, aiding other adventures with the task of lighting their paths forward.
Remaining under the tutelage of a wizard of such renown his name not require mention.



Namesake tarnished with murder during the aftermath of recent victory followed by a debauched night at @PaddyOBrien 's tavern.


After being taken into custody by the Stormhold knights, during the incarceration, many illustrated books were created.
But, there was one book to rule them all... and in the dorkness... bind them!
Later to be referred to only as "The Book".
"The Book" was lost during a collapse - to be recreated by an unscrupulous character some years later and given to its 'proper owner'.

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

When times were slow, before the days of Jhelom and the battle of the Hung, public towers and keeps could sometimes be found filled with fifty to one-hundred sheep.
Unless of course it was a public pvp tower, to which it would be filled with an equal amount of frogs. (P*U took it well)



On occasion @Cullinarn may have woken up to a 'healthy' amount of migrating Walrus, on that tiny emerald, within the sapphire sea, that they call Blanche.



Still around oldman?

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

The battle of the the Hung... Nine tamers were raised and came to aid "The Mother of Tamers" a number of times during the weeklong struggle.
The leather was flowing like the spice of the Dunes with the skill gains working at peak efficiency.

A failed assassination attempt by the riders of Paradox let down the Labeler and the army of the Hung.

When it started to rain... the cattle were stored in the houses south of the island, as to confuse the Hung men, they had attempted to wrangle them back to their lair on fire island, but suddenly ran into 'no spawn?'.



A steady number steeds were kept near the teleporter from Jhelom to the Island, as to have quick access to a mount, and to confuse the Hung about party numbers,
"The Shadow Army".

Equipment, bandages, shields, maces, scissors and the like were stored all over the island in both owned and derelict house containers, as to always be at the ready.

Wandering healers were lured into specific huts, one would resurrect a fallen soul, the other never would. This could buy a great deal of time during a tight spot, and so it did on many occasions, it always got a first timer.

- - - - - - - - -
* The army of the Hung had now experienced what it is to be Pfniffel'd
- - - - - - - - -

The week ended with the luring of treasure farmed dread spiders, from the north of the island, into a mass struggle, and free-for-all, lit aflame by the Gnome with the assistance of Pinky's Tentacles. The show of force brought along with these two was enough to secure the pens.

"Kill the horses, claim the leather!"
"Cut the armor, claim the leather!"

(There was an ongoing leather collecting fight between tailors during this dispute,
as the tamers were urged to remain taming for maximum efficiency.)

The Hung men finally defeated, with the aid of many allies and the sleep depravation not being too severe, "The Mother of Tamers" could rest.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5Hmg6tWY3EY

Many thanks to Steel Beams, Can't Melt, & Jet Fuel (<--- #never forget)

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

"Why tame a Dragon when you could tame a Tamer?"

Could it be?

The one who wrote the Qamrasutra, the smutty book that almost destroyed the fabric of Britannian society??

Until access to download the game, launcher issue, is granted... I should refrain from answering that.
I wonder if the lady Qamrasutra ever received ol' Quinby's retirement *package.

"The Book" is it secret? (un forged) Is it safe?

It is safely guarded, locked away in a bank vault where it will be studied by Cove's "Top Men". The text has been corrupted but the pictures are still there.

Knew it was in the right hands, with Cove's Top men, of course it's secure. The text was not all that important, It can always be changed to "(playername/Qamra) does Ocllo" for a more vibrant storyline.

With that in order, how have you been?
Its been half a decade. ; )
A few years ago I saw another young 'Dun' running around having a blast killing folk, have you retired to the sea?
Are you holding office as the Mayor?

- - -

When Obsidian hits the shore I believe the roll of the Lion is first on the list of things to do.
Acquiring more limericks to turn into song, then transpose rhyme to piano.

*Tailors engage in far too much pvp for a fresh start. heh!

Half a decade! time flies lol

I have mostly moved on to the seas of Avadon, pirating there and briganding with the former brg guild from here. I keep a small supply of stuff here for when I feel nostalgic for Britannia though. But maybe I should declare myself mayor of Burnt Cove haha

Ahh' very outlandish of you, this Avadon.

Cove has been burnt to the ground? Overrun by Orcs and the like?
I will have to check up on more of Sosaria's historical documentation.

- - -

Guess I've been feeling nostalgic, probably more relaxing over here.
Minus a few burnt bridges that can always be rebuilt of course... ; )

As the song goes:

"I don't know you, but I love you, even more for that.
Words fall through me, always fool me, now I can't react.
But words will never amount, to more than they're meant, and can't be taken back.
I don't know you, but I love you, even more for that."



- - -

My last bout here after the battle of the Hung...
With the settling of a few business transactions consisting of a horde of leather being sold to multiple tailors, enough to gm each one at dirt cheap prices.
The decision was to go shopping in Yew for a new mask, to which I ran into a single rouge brigand... retired assassin no doubt, working for himself.

He demanded my valuables, to which I had only a battered shield, rusty mace and fine pair of scissors left over from the engagement with the Hung.
He wasn't getting this tailors scissors. (Fortunately due to looting of the Hung men - the backpack was topped with potions!)

The fight was fierce, weaving into and out of merchant stalls, it trailed west to the town lines which we both wouldn't cross, east back into the markets, north then south again into what may have even been that damn brigands stall. It came down to one last hit on either one of us... the shield finally failing and the poison wreaking it's havoc... no cures left..

He fell, the shield was superior!
With just enough time to loot a cure and quaff... The Mother of Tamers (with the aid of the Jhelom Pens APM training) was able to kill the horse and claim the leather.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DIdGXglrn_k
Nothing like claiming the leather!

Afterwards he said the shard required more folks like myself around, so you may as well just have me around.
I would @ but that brigand has become a special kind of bigwig now.
Great duel though, more intense than the assassination attempt by the riders of Paradox. Get stooled on lads.

"The pens are made for stooling, and that's just what I'll do, one of these days come visit Jhelom, and I'll stool in front of you!"

Sincerely,
Obsidian Key

@wylwrk Olive branch?

Life in Sosaria wouldn't be any fun without ya'.
All of my most fond memories here involve you in some capacity.
I'll sing you some Frank Sinatra? Eh' Eh? (I'll even join the Discord)

Or have you mostly retired to the outlands?

AMERICA! CYBERTRUCKS! FIREWORKS! HAMBURGLARS!


If I have to... I'll go so far... as to make you... a... "Rebillet"

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

The brigands have adopted your calling card of leaving crotchfires of thieves in Ocllo, lighting the crotches of their enemies on fire in the distant lands

Did you just say the magic-word!
An ancient technique, passed onto me by Jean-Pierre.
- - -
* Those brigands are doing their realm a favor. Let them COOK!
- - -
Samorite has helped with the launcher issue!
I've seen a few suspects already... They. Are. Not. Prepared.

That reminds me of @Gwenno , truly surprised me, rolling-in on a polar-bear, dressed like bad Santa,
delivering upon Senja a healthy dose of the whoop-ass at the pens. Never in my days expected that! She trained hard.

A true fan of the crotchfire.


... Almost forgot to carry the kindling! Thank you Mr.Obrien!

- - -
* Ug, macros... this will take awhile to get back in shape.
- - -

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

* Your skill in Crotchfire has changed by +0.1
* It is now 38.5 (+2.3)



Ode to the Crotchfire... to be composed.

* Your skill in Crotchfire has changed by +0.1
* It is now 78.6 (+40.1)



(Must have missed a few "."s!)

Now, this! Was originally for @Jupiter

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- <*<*<*<*<*<*<* " Companions " *>*>*>*>*>*>*> -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


Very glad this didn't become "."
@El Horno 's MS paint contests were amazing. Some very unique UO:R pieces were produced from those.

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

Welcome to:

Ocllo, Ocllo never changes.

"There once was a guy, Zippiddyboobiddy,
Attempted to Hawk tuah on that Twang in Ocllo-city,
He dropped his In-Nox, so I burnt his crotch,
Illuminated centipede on cobble, too pretty!"

Sincerely,
ObsidianKey

Dude I was thinking about this the other day and wishing I could find it again! Part of our brigand lore is the origins of the crotchfire and why it's our calling card. We also got staff to make us the "eternal crotchfire" locked down along our road as a warning to anyone who approaches lol