As a special emissary emeritus of the Mage Tower, I have been tasked for many years with studying the inner workings of the extraordinarily clandestine operations. To this date their operation has remained so elusive that not even I have been able to breach their inner circles. In fact, no less than 1,000 times they have rejected my applications. (It appears they can see right through my Kal In Ex, also it doesn't help that they have a strict policy on never accepting any direct applications...). I only hope we can survive their ruthless rein of psychological warfare. I can relate these bits of advice to avoid being on the receiving end of their flavor of "Justice" or to avoid being the next "Chumstar" in a cA smear campaign please heed this council: 1. Don't play UO beyond your capacity of being drunk, high, stoned, or any other sort of medically induced state of being. This will increase your odds of being taken advantage of by approximately 458.7%. Multiply that factor by 100 if any of these mental states are combined. 2. Don't ever leave home with anything you can't live without. If you can't live without then it should be fastened to the ground or tucked in a bank box only to be revealed once a year in a gloatful forum post. 3. Don't ever leave home (ok, you can leave sometimes, but only after you've hit detect hidden 30 times, tracked for players within 100 screens, and then only as ghost. Rez yourself in town, conduct your business, and then return to a state of a ghost and head back to your house). 4. Don't make the false assumption that they stole your things because they wanted/needed your mad lewtz. In most cases it is very likely that they trashed your items after seizing them (unless further use of them will result in a funnier story). Understand that these folks do what they do just because they can. Just like a mountaineer who scales Himalayas, this operation will callously and without any compassion stand on your back so they can reach the top of the mountain first. 5. In the event you are grief'ed by them, submit a story with artwork done up in MS PAINT (preferably use features only available from Windows 2000 or prior) and in your story make sure you paint wizard tears. 6. If step number five does not result in you receiving your mad lewtz back, submit a follow up story even better than the first. You most likely will not get any of your things back because by this time, they have thrown it all into a trashcan (see #4), but if your post is funny enough you may get over 500 initial hits plus 1,200 follow up hits from the rest of the shard reading and laughing with you (not at you). 7. If step numbers five and six do not work then take a healthy step back, appreciate that they got you, and move on. Resist the urge to immediately nerd rage in IRC or on the forums. Your rate of a second targeted victimization increase by the same factor as drug induced states (see #1) if you do not heed this step. 8. Please always use detect hidden whenever you open your house doors. Please tell everyone you know, to always use detect hidden whenever a house door is opened. During those lulls in conversation when your UO avatar is staring at another UO avatar in awkward silence please, please use that time to remind them to detect hidden EVERY time you enter a home. In every situation, where I have read or seen a successful house looting, this step was not followed. It is UTTERLY simple. Please. Please. Please. Detect hidden. EVERY SINGLE house looting story I have ever read could have been averted by somebody following this rule. 9. Repeat Step 8 add nauseam.
Watch out. Even trees have been known to swoon after the stache. a few pines in paws have had to be re proposed after collapsing in his presence.
Creepy, who told you about my movember stache? Also for the umpteenth time wise from second age and I are not one and the same. Those of the second age who made the glorious move up to renaissance will know me as wiseone.
