Greetings prospective musicians of Britannia. The Bard is a noble profession, one of the two best PvM builds on the shard. There are four core barding skills: Musicianship, Provocation, Peacemaking and Enticement (aka Discordance). Before I show you my way to become a grandmaster, I'd be remiss if I didn't give a shout out the other fine guides and fine authors who got me started. You should read these before you read mine. Provocation Provocation Peacemaking Peacemaking Enticement aka Discordance Now, my method may not be better than these. It surely isn't faster -- it'll take about 7 days. But it's easy. So easy. Barding for Dummies First, you can complete your training entirely on Ocllo. If you train all four skills, you'll fall out of the new player program when your skill total exceeds 500, but other than that you could complete it entirely as a "(Young)" player. So head for Ocllo. If you're still new, this is as simple as typing "[young" and then joining the new player program. Step 2, pay the musicians in town to train your music, provo, peace and enticement skills up to the highest you can (about 30). This'll cost about 1200 gold. You may need to adventure a little bit first since you only start with 250 that's usable for training. Then: macro your musicianship up at least 80 or so, just like the other guides say. Buy 60 or so tambourines from the music shop. Other instruments work fine too but tambourines only weigh 1 stone, so you can carry a bunch no problem. You'll wear out most of these instruments on the way to GM. Let's pump up your Musicianship skill. Record a Razor macro: Double-click tamborine Pause 3 seconds loop And let it run overnight. You can move on as early as 70 skill but it doesn't hurt to go to 100. 80 is a good target. Step 4: get a house. You don't need much of a house... a Small House (43800 gold) or a Small Stone Tower (88500 gold) will do nicely. This is the hardest part of this easy guide. Unfortunately, every house spot on the island that anyone has found already has a house on it. Fortunately, there are some older players who might rent you a house for a couple of weeks for a lot less gold... and if you have plenty of gold houses there sell for 2xDeed or less. If houses on Ocllo just aren't to be had you can do everything except the final run with pirate sailors in a house anywhere in the land. For pirate sailors you might be able to substitute a pair of boats. Depending on other players' generosity there may be a public house you can use as well (more on that later). So, you own or have acquired access to a house. Your skills are 80/30/30/30. It's time to croon to some orcs. Go find some basic orcs wandering about the island. One at a time, allow them to follow you home. Once inside, run around behind him (put yourself between him and the door) and then beat him up until he runs. He'll run to the corner of the house. Drop some crates (or another impassible object) and lock them down. You'll need to be *at least* co-owned to the house to lock the crates down by saying, "i wish to lock this down" and targeting a crate. If you don't lock the crate down, the nasty orc will bust it up once be regains enough hit points. Why orcs? Why not Mongbats or Rabbits? Well, if you check the bestiary, Orcs have a barding difficulty of 41. With your musicianship where it is, you'll get optimal gain for the barding skills around 15 points below and 5 points above *your* skill number. You have 30. His difficulty is 41. You can ride him to 45ish skill easy. When you're set up, it'll look kinda like this: Note where you're standing: not just anywhere. Stand at least two tiles from any wall. Griefers may come by and kill your orcs. If you're within 2 tiles of the wall, they may kill you too. In the center of the house you're safe: worst case you have to get some new orcs. So, you have your two orcs and they're locked in the corners of the house. What's next? Razor Macro! Provoke (#1 on #2) Pause 14 Provoke (#2 on #1) Pause 14 Entice #1 Pause 14 Entice #2 Pause 14 Peace #1 Pause 14 Peace #2 Pause 14 Hide Pause 18 Loop Easy, right? An astute skill gainer will realize that the skill cooldown on failure is much shorter than 14 seconds, so you can make the macro run faster. I'm going for easy, and easy is you just wait the full 14 second or so cooldown between using barding skills. But you hide at the end! Why? Well, the orcs will stay in discord until they can't see you for 17 seconds or so. You can't entice them again until they no longer are. Hiding allows them to forget about you so you can sing them another song. Alas, it's not quite that easy. Monsters in a house will despawn after 24 hours unless sheared or tamed. You can't tame orcs and you can't shear the either. Oh well. When they vanish, almost exactly 24 hours after you brought them into the house, go get more. Whohoo! So you have 45 or 50 in provocation, enticement and peacemaking. What next? Go ahead and kill off those orcs. Then lead a pair of orc lords to your house. You can find them in the Orc Fort in the northwest part of the island. According to the bestiary Orc Lords have a barding difficulty of 61. You can work with trolls (51) for a while first if you want to, but it's probably easiest to jump straight to Orc Lords. Lock em up in the corners the same way you did with the orcs, retarget your macro and macro away to 65 or 70 skill. The gains will slow down after 65 but let it run until you get impatient. Make sure you're using store-bought tambourines here -- GM crafted tambourines give you a bonus to success and the closer you get to 100% success the slower your skill gains. If jumping straight from Orcs to Orc Lords yields gains which are too slow for you, here are some more Ocllo monsters you can try: Orc - 41 Grizzly Bear - 46 Troll - 51 Orcish Lord - 61 Pirate Sailor - 104 Now for the final leg of the marathon... pirate sailors. You'll find "XX the sailor" at the pirates den on the west edge of the island. Their names are in red instead of the usual blue or grey. Red means a murderer. This is a big jump in difficulty, from 61 to 104 so your gains will slow way down. I suggest taking just one sailor at first and keeping one Orc Lord. Provoking seems to take in to account the barding difficulty of both monsters in some way, so you'll get faster gains to 80 or so with just one sailor. As before, lure one down to your house and lock him in the corner. Change up your Macro a little bit for the sake of only one sailor: Provoke (sailor on #2) Pause 14 Entice sailor Pause 14 Peace sailor Pause 14 Peace target #2 Pause 14 Peace target self Pause 14 Hide Pause 18 Loop If you couldn't find a house on Ocllo, try using boats instead. Lure a sailor on to a boat and take him a little ways out to sea. Then take a gray animal with you on a second boat and use the separation between the two boats to keep them apart. It's not as safe as a house (you might get PKed or attacked by a sea serpent) but it should work. Once you hit 80 or so provoking, switch to two sailors. Keep going to 100% provoking and 100% enticement/discord. It'll take about 7 days total from when you started with plain old orcs. It'll actually speed up a little towards the end as you hit the sweet spot for gains from the pirates. Peacemaking will lag behind the other two. Finish it off by targetting yourself with peace instead of targetting a monster, as described in Poor Richard's Guide. Congrats, you've GMed barding and are done with this guide! Now build up your stats (str/dex/int) and either casting or melee to finish monsters off. Then go serenade some mobs in the dungeons!