For @Hadrian , the man who brightens our lives with the light of a thousand illuminated crotches! "Crotchfire" sang to the tune of "Bushfire" by B52's On the horizon, Ocllo's burning red. Crotchfire. Smoke in your eyes, smoke in your eyes. If you feel something down below, that makes you warm all over, If you got a fire on your nards and you can't put it out, got a crotchfire. Rolling through a field of flamin newb thieves; Burning in a field of molten nards. There's a crotchfire, there's a crotchfire burning, yeah. Crotchfire! Crotchfire! Crotchfire! Lion's been going patrolling places in Ocllo lately. Thieves need your halberd to take them down, take them to the ground. Then a Guard whack!! Get away from the heat. Guard whack! In my field of vision. Guard whack!! Netherregions burning, fire. Fire in a field of molten nards, Fire in a field of molten nards. There's a crotchfire burning, yeah. You better hold back! Hold back! Crotchfire! Crotchfire! Crotchfire! Well I'm movin' from the smell of a big crotchfire. I'm laughin off my ass at a big crotchfire, And the flames are warm and getting brighter. Well every newb loves to dance around the heat and fire Oh, tittyhead gets guardwhacked twice. Hey everybody, bask in the afterglow. Crotchfire! Naked corpses in Ocllo, been lying here too long. Thieves need your halberd to take them down, take them to the ground. But I hold back. Get away from the heat! Guardwhack! Dead thieves In my field of vision. Guardwhack! I see smoke, smoke in your crotch. Crotchfire! Crotchfire! Crotchfire! Ocllo's landscape's burning, red hot!