Cobwebs adorn the walls of the old school house. The echos of laughter from time passed can be heard, the faint smell of bread being baked mixed with apple pies fills your nose. It appears as if the old inhabitants had left in a rush. Cooking books left open, quills left on the open pages. Your eyes scan the room for anything of value, rumors in town had led you to the place in hopes of finding forgotten treasure. Everything seemed normal enough, it made absolutely no sense to you why the town folk were so hesitant to talk about let alone approach the old building. Climbing the steps to the second floor you see pictures of battles, and names haplessly scrawled onto the walls, 'Oneminusone' you read, other names are harder to make out 'Preyas' with an X crossing it out. There in the middle of the pictures is a collage apparently honoring the past Head Masters of the University 'Sniznatchian' a man with a long red beard. 'Meradin' a figure cloaked in black. 'Scuba' A man with bright neon green pony tails and a blood red beard. 'Urinal Cake' A very short man with a stout gut. "What kind of name is Urinal Cake?" you find yourself saying aloud. The last man was truly a sight to see, Neon everything with expensive colored clothes on, he seemed to have 9 different pictures on the wall, all of him standing in different poses, almost as if he was modeling his clothes...'Sterling Archer'..... What a strange bunch you think to yourself..... After a short time scavenging the building you find nothing of any significant value. You are about to give up when a tightly bound scroll catches your eye, a magic spell perhaps? You remove the string holding the scroll bound and unravel it hoping to see words of magic you know to be valuable, instead what you find is your heart begins to beat faster...and your palms instantly dampen with sweat..." MAN PIE " Its a recipe.....you read it allowed "Three severed heads ground to a pulp"....."Two Thumbs finely diced"....... "A Bucket of Livers" ...."a pound of dough"...... You instantly realize you have made a mistake in coming here, this is no place to be dallying. Before your feet can begin moving you feel the unmistakable tingle of magic in the air, all around you the school is repairing itself...You hear deep laughter as if you caught the end of a joke. You turn your head slowly to look at the entry way and you almost feint...all of the men in the photos are standing at the door unaware of your presence, they seem to be laughing at the brightly dressed mans...sandals? You have no idea what to do with yourself, your head is screaming run, but your feet wont move. You know it will be seconds until they spot you... "AN EX POR" a booming voice rips you into consciousness, you are truly paralyzed now, you feel the grip of magic swell over your body. You see the five men begin to chant simultaneously "CORP POR" You feel the first bolt hit you and it rips through your body like butter, the other four bolts just a second behind...As you fade into the void of what you assume to be death you hear a snarky voice say " Well Fifteen more and we got some MAN PIE boys ".......... CAKE POUND UNIVERSITY SCHOOL STARTS 10/24/17 CONTACT YOUR LOCAL CPU REPRESENTATIVE TO SCHEDULE YOUR CLASSES NOW. FEW SEATS REMAIN.