the unlikeliest of friends

Discussion in 'The Salty Dog Tavern' started by Bayara, Feb 9, 2017.

  1. Bayara

    Bayara Well-Known Member

    Dec 6, 2016
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    the ground vibrated as dirt flew up from the horses hooves.
    it wasn't dry weather...
    light rain had been lingering the past few days and everything was still damp.
    so it came up in chunks.
    every now and again a clump would catch you in the cheek.
    or a pebble would find it's way into your mouth.
    you'd have to spit every few minutes to keep the grit out.

    a group of five brigands were on the move.
    they had left early, just after day break, and were heading north along the main road.

    patrol rides north.jpg

    Icas Rex was on point.
    he had an eagles vision and a hounds sense of smell.
    if a dog farted that day, he knew where and what it had for breakfast.

    on a normal day patrols didn't run this early.
    sunrise was to be avoided and roosters were to be ignored.
    but we were headed deep into Shame and that meant a long ride for everybody.
    an outpost down along the river reported word of a supply ship coming through.
    their scouts had overheard a couple tamers talking about it.
    said "they've got so much gold stashed down here, they need a fucking ship to get it out! so much for moongates huh?"
    the plan was to send down reinforcements and ambush the ship as it was leaving with the goods.
    simple as that.
    it's hard to go wrong with simple.

    patrol moving through shame.jpg

    we pop through one of the portals, coming out in a lower level of the dungeon.
    so far so good... not a soul in sight.
    just one more portal on the south side, and a quick sprint across the moat and we were home free.

    patrol making contact with shame camp.jpg

    we raced into the camp with time to spare.
    things were a bit of a work in progress down here...
    but all in all the place was looking good!
    we saw a lot of familiar faces as the regulars came running up to greet us.

    "what's the word on the boat? what time did it pass coming in?" we asked
    "uuhhhh......" long pause "shit. not sure how to say this guys...."
    "just spit it out then! we got time to spare. if there's a problem, we can handle it."
    "ship never came through."
    "bullshit! you fuckin' fall asleep again? up drinking all night and doze off on watch?!?"
    "it's not like that! we've had our eyes glued to this pass all night. nothing came through." they said
    "we suspect it was all bullshit. they knew we were listening and wanted to bait us."

    "alright, I believe you. let's have a peek around and see what we can figure out."

    we rode out of the shallow alcove where the camp was nestled.
    took a sharp left and came to a brick wall.
    we knew there was a short cut here, through a secret door disguised among the bricks.
    spits you out into the old barracks area where the miners used to sleep.
    before this place was over-run with these abominations.

    we left our horses on the other side of the gate, opting for stealth for once.
    when we appeared in the barracks, things were quiet.
    obviously we could hear the creatures moving around, but they weren't the brightest.
    they'd just sit in the old miners rooms floating around, groaning, trying to remember why they were there in the first place.

    we moved down the hall heading towards the final portal when the door in front of us burst open.
    flames poured out through the doorway and we heard the snort of a mare.
    "those drunks were right... .... TRRAAAPP!!!!!"
    we spun around to retreat but our way was blocked.
    a thick magical wall stood where the exit was.
    I could go into great detail describing the incantations I heard being shouted from the darkness.
    I could talk about the smell of ash and bitters that was in the air thick, like smoke from a campfire.
    or I can just tell you the sheer panic that ran through my mind as I took a double barrel kick from a mare that put me off my feet and into a wall.
    gasped for breath for a few seconds before I lost conciousness.
    I thought that was it.

    the battle hadn't lasted long.
    luckily, in our favor, the mages had gotten over confident and charged us too soon.
    they were horny at the idea of putting us down for good and lost their patience.
    when I came around... and our exit was clear, we took it.
    everyone went through the portal but before I stepped in I took a look over my shoulder at the trail of corpses and shouted for anyone left to hear....

    long live the brigands.jpg

    we mounted our horses as fast as our weary bodies could and made a full gallop out of this hell hole.

    upon clearing Troll Pass, I broke away from the group.
    they were moving onward towards Yew to finish the route.
    I was still feeling fucked up from that kick I took and decided to return to the camp.
    was following the mountain south when a delicious aroma found me.

    dreg and caretaker 01.jpg

    following the sweet smell to a small clearing I discovered a man cooking his afternoon meal.

    dreg and caretaker 02.jpg

    no matter what I asked him... he remained silent.
    at first I thought he was shy.
    then I took offense.
    I thought it was another trick and decided to check him for intelligence.
    had he been following us?

    through all my inquiries he remained silent.
    I could see in his eyes that I had misjudged him.
    he wasn't being rude.
    he wasn't plotting against me.
    he was afraid.
    the man had the look of somebody who was on the run.
    why else would he be hiding out here in the woods when there was a guard outpost within walking distance.
    he was afraid of getting caught.

    I voiced my suspicions and his eyes grew big.
    he still refused to speak, but from his reaction... I could see that I was right.
    I told him the score and extended an invitation.
    should be feel like seeking refuge, he would be welcome.

    dreg and caretaker 03.jpg

    bidding the man a good day, I continued onward towards home.
    the most direct route passing by the abandoned Orc fort.
    ...... ...
    at least, it used to be abandoned.
    some movement caught my eye and I shot a glance over my shoulder.
    there, on the porch of a large log cabin, stood a humongous orc holding a war hammer.
    a war hammer... and a spatula.
    "this guy is.... bbqing? what... the... @&#%^"

    dreg and muguk 01.jpg

    I quickly moved my hand down to my broadsword incase I needed to draw suddenly.
    but this orc was unusual.
    he didn't make any aggressive movements.
    he just waved at me and yelled "owdee neyburr".
    then offered me a beer?!?
    what... the... #$&%^

    dreg and muguk 02.jpg

    "sure! why not?! I need something to numb this ache in my spine..." I said.
    "oki, lat dwink up den! dis ez bubhosh grahl" he bellowed.

    a few more orcs came out of the house to join the fun.
    we drank, made poop jokes, and had a good laugh.
    I was still trying to make sense of the situation when the orc motioned for me to follow him.
    said he had something to show me.

    outside guard tower 01.jpg

    a new guard post?!?
    how the hell had this gotten past us????
    we rode these trails day in and day out and hadn't so much as noticed it.
    but they hadn't escaped the watchful eye of the orcs...
    they knew what was coming.

    Yew Council had been coming down into these woods frequently.
    poking their nose around.
    they had seen the brigand camp growing and had noticed the orcish reawakening.
    so they pushed some money around and decided to try and cut us off.
    "these woods are for outlaws! they should know better than to try and invade us here!"

    the orc seemed in agreement.
    I could tell the moment he picked his nose and wiped it on the door knob.
    [damn pretty good move, I gotta remember that one!]
    I hadn't a moment to lose, gotta get back to the camp and tell the others about this trespass!

    dreg returns to camp.jpg

    my llama barely slowed as I came crashing through the front doors.
    "Bayara!!!!" I shouted as she stood around flapping on about some story she was in the middle of...

    speaks with bayara.jpg

    she saw the same opportunity I had...
    I knew she would understand!!
    it wasn't like we were gonna be their new best friends or anything...
    but tough times call for desperate measures and I haven't seen shit get tougher than this.

    before I could catch my breath, I was back on my llama pushing hard to join the others before they could make it back to camp.
    we had a new mission.

    dreg rides out to join others.jpg

    I caught up with the pack just north of the Lich Ruins.
    they were surprised to see me.
    and even more surprised when I filled them in about the orc fort.

    "we're doing WHAT?!?" one of them said
    "you heard me! it's our only option... besides these ones are okay. they didn't try and eat me or anything."
    "is your head still messed up from that wall you hit?"
    "fuck you! that wall hit me. it didn't even look both ways."
    "we're not going to be friends with some ORCS! you and Bayara have lost your minds!"
    "like I said... we aren't best buddies or anything! hell, we'll still get on eachothers nerves and fight just like always..."
    "only now... if outsiders come down here making trouble... we have eachothers back!"
    "and you think they'll hold up to that?"
    "yeah, I think so"
    ................ ....
    "alright... lead the way"

    gordon pees.jpg

    perhaps our message was a little crude...
    "they write books in blood and poop, they'll know by the scent that this is a sign of friendship!"
    but I am sure they understand.

    and for all the outsiders who don't...
    STAY OUT OF THE BRIGAND CAMP *coughs* and orc fort LLC
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2017
    Random, Xegugg, eherruh and 8 others like this.
  2. Dresden Wolfe

    Dresden Wolfe Member

    Feb 9, 2017
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    Breaking off from the group of brigands on the ride back to camp, Icas Rex and Dresden encounter the orc, Muguk, snooping around the guard tower. The trio agree it would be a fitting gesture to extend a warm welcome to the interlopers. And what kind of warmth is better than that of fresh blood?
    Xegugg, eherruh, Muguk and 6 others like this.
  3. Eskull

    Eskull Member

    Nov 26, 2016
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    The deeds of Yew are none of your concern! This was a matter of Justice and those who inflict injustice upon others, cannot expect fair treatment unto themselves.
    Antos, eherruh and PaddyOBrien like this.
  4. Dresden Wolfe

    Dresden Wolfe Member

    Feb 9, 2017
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    @Eskull I have seen the fate which awaits your master...

    eherruh, Bayara, Alex Caember and 3 others like this.
  5. Eskull

    Eskull Member

    Nov 26, 2016
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    Feel yourself lucky @Antos is unavailable at this moment. You and your despicable brigands will regret these pitiful actions.
  6. Dresden Wolfe

    Dresden Wolfe Member

    Feb 9, 2017
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    Please send him down the road to the encampment when he gets off the bog.
    eherruh, Bayara and Eskull like this.
  7. Vishakt

    Vishakt Well-Known Member
    UO:R Donor

    Nov 23, 2014
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    It's apparently not an easy life taking care of birds.


    Then again, location location location! Perhaps camping two screens from the Yew orc fort was a poor choice.

    Good to see so many brigands about!!
  8. Muguk

    Muguk Active Member

    Feb 3, 2017
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    Bubhosh Sturi. Hosh part wuz klompin da gardz. HOOWAHH!!
    eherruh likes this.
  9. Antos

    Antos Well-Known Member

    Dec 4, 2016
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    @Dresden Wolfe,

    Does the childish act of playing with my clothes comfort you when you recall our first meeting in Occlo long ago?

    I am a frail, old man and my memory is failing, so I tend to keep reminders of such events. Reminders such as this one:


    Does it ease the pain of your utter failure to pilfer my pack without warning?
    Does it take away the sting of my energy bolt that sent you scurrying away like the vermin we all know you to be?
    Does it mitigate the bitter memory of the guard's wrath when I summoned him rather than pursue you as you fled through the foggy streets?
    Does it alleviate the horror of watching helplessly from beyond the grey veil as I behead your ruined corpse?

    If so, by all means, enjoy playing with the clothes you took from my home when I was away.

    Better yet, keep them as a reminder of that fateful evening when Justice was served. After all, I have my own memento as you can see!
    Jaana, RIN, PaddyOBrien and 5 others like this.
  10. Dresden Wolfe

    Dresden Wolfe Member

    Feb 9, 2017
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    Antos of Yew,

    I do, in fact, remember our first encounter in Occlo. Do you remember our last encounter in Occlo?

    The day you reference, many moons ago, I was attacked by the town guard while begging in the mud near the town stables. I wanted only a piece of stale bread you had been flaunting in front of me earlier in the day, feeding your stupid, disgusting animals. It seems to me your memory has become decrepit like your rotting bones and filthy soul. You preach Justice, yet you lie. There was no fleeing. There was no fair trial. Most importantly, there was no pathetic attempt on your behalf to cast magic upon me.

    This was not the first time you deprived me of bread, water, and a fair trial. This was not the first day you left me in the dirt. A story for another time, noble Antos of Yew. Do you remember?

    Do you remember our last meeting in Occlo? That meeting was today. Perhaps you did not see me as you scurried by me and into the moongate like a startled rat. Do you remember fleeing back to your tower and hiding inside? The gift I left you?

    I waited patiently outside for a meeting with you, baffled by your rudeness and weakness of character. An invitation, a cup of tea? Ale? What should I have expected from a man who cannot spare bread. Antos of Yew.

    Soon I will tell you a story about two young boys left for dead. Today I will leave you with yourself - a cowering coward.

  11. Antos

    Antos Well-Known Member

    Dec 4, 2016
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    Your lies are as clear as the winds that blow through the Deep Forest. I never carry bread, only fish... and these I would have been happy to share with you at our first meeting if you had asked rather than trying to sneak about and steal from me without a word. After all, I am not without Compassion even for those of ill repute, as everyone knows.

    As for our last meeting in Occlo, you chose to attack without any form of warning or prior interaction, acting as a common murderer. Again, I am an old man and my memory is not what it once was, but I seem to recall that you threw an explosion potion and scurried away as you are wont to do. Perhaps you realized at the last moment that you were vulnerable to the guards once again and the other fellow at the Moongate who was caught in your unprovoked and unannounced attack was sure to call the guards on you for your ill-conceived attempt at murder.

    I stepped back into the town limits and stood near of the bank awaiting your return so as to give you a belated opportunity to parley with me, but this did not come to pass. Only then did I return to enter the Moongate.

    At the time of your unprovoked attack, I was entirely without resources as we had just been struck down by a band of murderers in the hedge maze and I was in a rush to return home to re-equip and regroup with my new companion. And since you fled after bombing an innocent man standing at the Moongate, I was prepared to make no issue of it other than to remember that you act only as a common murderer who is unworthy of the company of "honorable" thieves such as can be found in the Brigand Encampment.

    At the lighthouse, while trying to equip myself so I could regroup with my companion, you once again struck without warning. Had you bothered to announce yourself as befits a proper house guest, circumstances might have been different and you might have received a more congenial welcome. You might have even been granted a bite to eat if you had asked for it rather than trying to steal it as you did at our first meeting. Even if you had entered making demands of me, you would have received a warmer welcome, but murderers who strike without warning are never welcome in Yew.

    Today you have proven that you are not even worthy of the company you keep among Brigands. You have deliberately chosen to ignore the code of... "honor"... established by your own leader.

    As such, citizens of Yew will no longer treat you as an equal among your kind and you will no longer fall under the protocols we follow when dealing with other "honorable" Brigands until you choose to heed the words of your chieftess. Until then, I would also encourage others who come into contact with you to remember these actions and to treat you, Dresden Wolfe, as the murdering scum that you truly are.
    Jaana likes this.
  12. Dresden Wolfe

    Dresden Wolfe Member

    Feb 9, 2017
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    You win. I give up. I have died of boredom.
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2017

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